I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
