I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
