Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
