Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
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