Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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