Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
