You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
