Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
