But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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