Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
