this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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