loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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