just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
