Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Randomize
