the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Randomize
