Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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