went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
