My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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