i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
