i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
