Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
