just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
