He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize