my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
