i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
