And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
