i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
