so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
