Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
