Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Randomize
