i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
