Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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