Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You are the jesus of drinking
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize