sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
