You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
