hell yes lets make some ravioli
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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