I think I just saw someone hide a body.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
