did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
