she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
