God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
