After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
