I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize