I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
