she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
