Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
