Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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