I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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