Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
