so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
