Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
accomplished twins. life is a go
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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