coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
