I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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