after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
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