Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
