I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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