I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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