I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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