omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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