At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Randomize
