I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
