We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
