Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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