Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
