Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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