This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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