the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
