I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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