No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
