Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
